Funny sayings (for guys) :)

[Outkast1]

My Dad forwarded this to me today and I thought it was funny.



When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-Anonymous

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
-Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
-Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
-Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
-Anonymous

[eggzbacon]

cool

[Brazilian Rider]

LOL worthy.

Made my boring night, that's for sure.

[coconutbowling]

women... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

[Squirt Reynolds]

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
-Yogi Berra

Classic Rodney Dangerfield quotes

"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand."

"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

[le'deuche123]

My Dad forwarded this to me today and I thought it was funny.



When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-Anonymous

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
-Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
-Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
-Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
-Anonymous

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
-Yogi Berra

Classic Rodney Dangerfield quotes

"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand."

"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

You guys are my hero's! Nice morning laugh.

[ImNoSuperMan]

Lol. Funny stuff. Just hope the girls of TA don't see this :p

[yourofl10]

That's too funny...

[WunDaii]

LOL... gave me a good laugh :)

[MidianGTX]

Get bent!

Uh, that was directed at the spam/advertisement... just in case it gets deleted and I look like I'm insulting people on a random ancient topic.

[Random_Guy]

I see.

[jecebn]

Lol. Funny stuff. Just hope the girls of TA don't see this :p

Just be glad that the uber-feminist Candy is no longer here ;)