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View Full Version : Minigore Storyline (Unofficial)


skipper587
12-10-2009, 09:44 PM
Wrote this just because I enjoy a good story, and I know that there are other people out there who do too. Here it is:

------The first thing John felt as he gained consciousness was the excruciating pain. The second thing he felt, was the overwhelming need to throw up, as if he had been kicked in the gut several good times and that he did. As he straightened, he took stock of his surroundings. He was standing in a valley, and a beautiful one at that. The green grass could be seen for miles, speckled with a few clusters of trees. Further off, the green turned to grey, as it faded into the slopes. And almost too far off to see, the grey turned white, snow. It was utterly quiet and peaceful. The only sound was John's ragged breathing.

------He then focused his attention on himself. He had no recollection of where he was, or how he got there, but the bruises and cuts all over his body showed that it was not by accident. Suddenly he became alert. Some primal instinct told him someone, or something, was watching him. He quickly put it behind him and began walking. As he neared a group of boulders, he noticed some extraordinarily white rocks, scattered between the boulders. But as the distance lessened between him and the boulders, the more wary he became. The white rocks weren't rocks at all. They were bones.

------Suddenly John felt the urge to run, and to not look back. But curiosity compelled him to grow even closer. He noticed a machine gun laying between the bones. He picked it up, with a ever-deepening sense of fear. Suddenly his hairs stood up on the nape of his neck, and he turned quickly, brandishing the machine gun. Nothing was there but the trees and the grass, but John did notice something. On the ground, there was an unusually large four leaf clover. As he picked it up and inspected it, it began to glow and suddenly disappeared into his hand. He felt light headed, as if he suddenly released a great weight from his body.

------The sensation soon passed, but John abruptly forgot it as he felt a sharp pain on his leg. He looked down, and there was a tiny furball attached to his leg. He reached down and wrenched it's teeth out of his flesh, and inspected it. It was roughly the size of a football, with eyes, and two rows of gleaming teeth. He was about to set it down, when he noticed more coming out of the bushes toward him. He flung it away barely batting one coming for his face aside. He turned, ran a few steps, and then opened fire on the furballs. Each one exploded in a puff of fur and a splatter of blood.

------He turned and ran, dodging the furballs at every turn. Suddenly, the bushes parted with a crash and a 6-foot-tall furball rushed at him. He opened fire, and to his dismay, it split into about 30 of the smaller furballs. "Die!" he screamed, and quickly mopped up what remained of them.

------Between running and shooting, John's mind was working fast. He noticed a grove of trees directly in front of him. He judged the distance, and then sprinted for all he was worth. As he closed the distance between him and the grove, he skidded to a stop in surprise and terror. 3 trees fell, revealing the largest furball he had seen up to this point. Standing nearly 10 feet tall, it must have been four-hundred pounds of pure fur. To his fortune, he noticed a pineapple hand grenade in a clump of bushes at his feet. He grabbed it, pulled the pin, and lobbed it in the direction of the monster. The grenade went off with a resounding boom, leaving a smoking crater where the furball had been.

------He completed his dash to the trees, and adeptly scaled one. The smaller furballs circled the tree in frustration, then turned and disappeared into the undergrowth. The sun was setting in the distance, and the night approached.

Kunning
12-11-2009, 12:10 AM
Here's some advice from a writer - I know you're going for a sense of action, dread, and desperation, but the sentences were a bit too choppy even for that. Try linking some together, and it'll sound a lot better. Other than that, good job! :)

eggzbacon
12-11-2009, 12:18 AM
Oh my gosh, wow thats a lot of dedication

AaronAMV
12-11-2009, 12:27 AM
simplified version? tl;dr

The Bat Outta Hell
12-11-2009, 12:34 AM
Here's some advice from a writer - I know you're going for a sense of action, dread, and desperation, but the sentences were a bit too choppy even for that. Try linking some together, and it'll sound a lot better. Other than that, good job! :)

Giving advice to the leader of the 53rd battalion? Traitor! :p

The Bat Outta Hell
12-11-2009, 12:36 AM
Oh, and that's a quality iReview opening right there.

loves2spoon
12-11-2009, 01:02 AM
Can you please use paragraphs..................... :mad:

sizzlakalonji
12-11-2009, 08:21 AM
CHAPTER 1
John awoke from a fever dream, sweat saturating the ground where he lay his head the night before, a night beset by restless thrashing and convulsing. He struggled to remember the specifics of those tormenting dreams, but it was no use...the terror didn't come from dreams, but rather reality. John suddenly remembered that he was the main character in a massively overhyped game, a game which has been bested in every imaginable way by others of a similar ilk. John did the only honorable thing, and stepped on a land mine.

THE END

d1
12-11-2009, 08:23 AM
CHAPTER 1
John awoke from a fever dream, sweat saturating the ground where he lay his head the night before, a night beset by restless thrashing and convulsing. He struggled to remember the specifics of those tormenting dreams, but it was no use...the terror didn't come from dreams, but rather reality. John suddenly remembered that he was the main character in a massively overhyped game, a game which has been bested in every imaginable way by others of a similar ilk. John did the only honorable thing, and stepped on a land mine.

THE END

Win.

skipper587
12-11-2009, 09:06 AM
Edited it with paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Here's some advice from a writer - I know you're going for a sense of action, dread, and desperation, but the sentences were a bit too choppy even for that. Try linking some together, and it'll sound a lot better. Other than that, good job! :)

Thanks for the advice Kunning, I took it.

Oh, and that's a quality iReview opening right there.

What do you mean, bat?

Squirt Reynolds
12-11-2009, 02:18 PM
CHAPTER 1
John awoke from a fever dream, sweat saturating the ground where he lay his head the night before, a night beset by restless thrashing and convulsing. He struggled to remember the specifics of those tormenting dreams, but it was no use...the terror didn't come from dreams, but rather reality. John suddenly remembered that he was the main character in a massively overhyped game, a game which has been bested in every imaginable way by others of a similar ilk. John did the only honorable thing, and stepped on a land mine.

THE END

You're my hero.

MidianGTX
12-11-2009, 02:32 PM
Ahh sizzle... 6 characters, upgradeable weapons, 3 difficulties, a boss enemy and more on the way, but still $0.99 is unreasonable :rolleyes:

Outkast1
12-11-2009, 02:59 PM
Ahh sizzle... 6 characters, upgradeable weapons, 3 difficulties, a boss enemy and more on the way, but still $0.99 is unreasonable :rolleyes:

If it had shipped like this, then I'd say you're right.

Unfortunately it took several months, several updates, and several thousand extremely annoying posts to become an actual... *game*.

MidianGTX
12-11-2009, 03:04 PM
If it had shipped like this, then I'd say you're right.

Unfortunately it took several months, several updates, and several thousand extremely annoying posts to become an actual... *game*.

Very true, but by now you've gotta admit it has more content than a lot of $0.99 games. sizzle had a good point at the beginning, they did release a hollow shell of a game, the only reason I stood up for it was because I trusted they'd keep their promise about future updates, and now they're starting to see the light of day I'm glad I did :)

Outkast1
12-11-2009, 03:07 PM
Very true, but by now you've gotta admit it has more content than a lot of $0.99 games. sizzle had a good point at the beginning, they did release a hollow shell of a game, the only reason I stood up for it was because I trusted they'd keep their promise about future updates, and now they're starting to see the light of day I'm glad I did :)

That's fair and I'm glad they kept their promises. I should give it another go now it's more robust. Haven't actually played it since the night it came out.

edit: whoa i guess i kind of slipped up and admitted i was initially drawn in by the hype myself... did buy the damn game immediately upon release... for shame!

CDubby94
12-11-2009, 03:10 PM
Since when do iGames get their own fanfic?

sizzlakalonji
12-11-2009, 04:39 PM
Yes, I must admit that this is starting to resemble what they promised many months ago...I honestly only posted that because it seemed like a perfect opportunity to be a smart ass. Not gonna lie. I actually enjoy the update somewhat, it's still been outshone by other twin stickers IMO, but it's getting there. I just read that short story and was possessed to respond.

oldskooler81
12-11-2009, 05:08 PM
i think the loading screen needs to be 1 Explained 2 Put in the game

The girl holding a wolf (i think) who is she John Gores sister, GF/wife, daughter Is she in trouble or will she show up soon as a playable character
the dead and living (town) people is there a town getting terrorized by the fuzzies/wormwolf/Bat creature
the big monster thats crossed with a bat is he the leader of the fuzzies