Battle Bears: Blast (That's B3 to you, meester)

Discussion in 'Upcoming iOS Games' started by Lt. Action, Mar 2, 2011.

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  1. Lt. Action

    Lt. Action Well-Known Member

    Show me your hands.

    Oh my, those are nice. Your hands should have their own magazine. Salons should google image search YOUR HANDS for reference. I think there’s a book somewhere that was written some 2,000 years ago about those fine looking hands and, if I’m not mistaken, Alexandros of Antioch omitted the arms from his Venus de Milo because he KNEW he could not compete with those hands.

    Oh my lord, those hands...

    It’s a shame, isn’t it, that both of your fine hands need to be obscured by your i-device when you play your shooter games? I mean, how is everyone going to know that the hands firing off those immaculate shots are so pristine, so elegant? These are the hard questions that we look away from and pretend aren’t a serious life issue and these are the same questions I am about to answer with a singular statement:

    BATTLE BEARS BLAST
    [​IMG]

    You read me.

    SkyVu Pictures has taken it upon itself once again to rescue your life from the inconvenient burden of your hands being stuck doing stupid things including, but not limited to, playing iOS shooters with both hands. BATTLE BEARS BLAST is a fast paced, ridiculous one handed shooter that pits Oliver once again against a literally endless onslaught of Huggable Bears (among other wacked out creature/s) but THIS TIME the pressure is applied liberally and just. won’t. quit.

    [​IMG]
    One hand!? Shut yo' mouth!
    Jus' talkin' bout convenience.
    Oh, I can dig it.


    To put it simply, this game is going to kick you in the face and never take its foot away. If Battle Bears -1’s movement/exploring 3rd person style wasn’t your thing and you need something more immediate/accessible than Battle Bears ZOMBIES, Battle Bears Blast is right up your alley whether you want it there or not. Or, if you’ve made it your life’s mission to be awesome and have been a Battle Bear fan from the start, you’re already in a great position to have a rip-roaring good time.

    Someone once said that "the best things in life are free" and that someone was likely a silver-spoonin' trust fund baby. Coincidentally, though, BBB IS the best thing in life and it IS free! :D

    Free with ads, that is, until you reach deep down and summon the change to purchase an extremely sexy, reasonably priced IAP, any IAP, to deck Oliver out in sweet duds AND remove ads.

    IAP, you ask? Tell you more, you demand? Well, you're in luck because that's exactly what I'm being paid to do.

    On the main menu-

    [​IMG]
    This

    You WILL notice that one of your options includes "Backpack". Yes indeed, after long last, that mysterious back back finally does something! Crack that puppy open and get a hot facial of sweet duds, gun upgrades, armor, skins, crazy levels and more. Your OLIVER can finally take a full step out of brown-tinted obscurity and be customized to look just the way you like so you can blast away the pesky Huggables in poppin' phresh phooty phstyle.

    You will be taking your bad-self through at least two modes: Classic and Arcade.

    In classic mode you will enjoy relaxing evening after relaxing evening of BLASTing away endless waves of Huggables, Marecraft and more, reaping sweet power ups in the form of multicolored "Nuggs" and driving up that multiplier until you finally succumb to the inhumanly fast pace ie. taking three hits because your brain and hand have a domestic dispute and stop talking to one another over the inhumanly fast paced game that is BBB.

    Arcade mode, on the other hand, cuts your little ADD addled self lose into the game world for a 60 second burst of "kill as much as you can than come back inside for cookies, sweetums" HORROR. You won't lose for taking hits, but you'll wish you had when you see that abysmally low score (a direct result of those same hits wiping away your multiplier). No, your score won't be earning a space on the fridge if you just lie there, if that's what you were thinking.

    Oh, also, in both modes Wil has taken it upon himself to bundle up all cozy like with volatile explosives so, you know, shooting him can have consequences.

    [​IMG]
    This bundle of baseless joy is "Nuggs"




    We'll be adding a ton of armor, skins, and themes and look forward to taking requests from our fans!

    Let me say that last part again, but this time I'm going to enlarge it for the attention impaired of our readers: and look forward to taking requests from our fans!

    Ya hear that? We want-nay-NEED our fans, old and new alike, to voice their opinions on what kind of sweet tidbits they want to hang off of their bodies or frolic amongst because communication is important and, to avoid awkward moments and silent breakfasts the next day, we need to know how to please you exactly the way you need to be pleased. <3

    Unofficially because I made it up just now, this is our company's motto.

    tl;dr: You look nice today, we have a very new, casual style shooter coming out, it's free with ads until one(any) teensy weensy IAP, it's gonna be customizable like a mother trucker, it has multiple play modes and game center support, it's slated to come out in April, tell your friends and we love you

    Oh, also, we've updated the Oliver model and texture since BB-1. Looks nice, huh? :D
     
  2. Epox

    Epox Well-Known Member

    Jul 30, 2010
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  3. B34$T

    B34$T Well-Known Member

    Aug 10, 2009
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    Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgzomgomg!!!!
     
  4. So I'm assuming this game is on-rails? Well, I can't argue with the price of $0. :p
     
  5. Lt. Action

    Lt. Action Well-Known Member

    Gewd question.

    We started the design with an 'on rails' style popping up in either a different mode or in certain levels but, as it is now, it's more of a stationary shooting gallery (not unlike Fruit Ninja, per example) where the targets are hurled across your field of vision and INTO that same field of vision ie. your face.

    If we can finangle it and if it's something people would have fun with, I'm up for some rails, sure :D
     
  6. I see. So the gameplay is more like BB Zombies then? I'd love to see at least one on-rail stage in the game.
     
  7. ImNoSuperMan

    ImNoSuperMan Well-Known Member

    Jun 28, 2009
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    Look lieutenant, its NOT fine to talk about my hands here on the forums. I showed them to you in private and there was no need to make it public :mad:
     
  8. Lt. Action

    Lt. Action Well-Known Member

    #8 Lt. Action, Mar 2, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2011
    I think openness and honesty are the corner stones to good public relations and, dammit, your hands are some of the finest I'VE EVER SEEN, even if it was a bit dark.

    It's nothing to be ashamed of, having fantastic hands.

    It's time; time to show the world <3

    Also, I must add that the only improvement you could ever make to your hands would be wrapping one of them firmly around some Battle Bears: Blast. You're free to do with the other hand whatever you wish ;D
     
  9. drelbs

    drelbs Well-Known Member

    Jun 25, 2009
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    Ooh, can it be in 3B, I mean 3D? :eek:
     
  10. Lt. Action

    Lt. Action Well-Known Member

    YOU WON'T BELIEVE the DIMENSIONS you can play this game in. I can assure you that you will be playing B3 on a very real, very 3D touch device.

    Dimensions 1-2 are old hat, for the first time ever, prepare to exist across no less than THREE AXIS as you play B3 on your touch device!
     
  11. drelbs

    drelbs Well-Known Member

    Jun 25, 2009
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    Oh hells yeah!

     
  12. Teh_Ninja

    Teh_Ninja Well-Known Member

    Mar 12, 2010
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    Waiter at Chili's
    Dallas
    So... upgradeable weapons, tons of different costumes, and I can do whatever I want with my free hand?

    Count me in, 1 question though: the beginning of April or the end?


    EDIT: What is the price point of the IAP, and are there more then 1?
     
  13. crex

    crex Doctor of Game of the Week-ology

    Oct 18, 2010
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    Everywhere and Nowhere
    Nice!!! I love the BB series.
     
  14. doodlejumper

    doodlejumper Well-Known Member

    Jan 27, 2010
    2,881
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    Stuck in traffic
    Sweet! Can't wait.
     
  15. Fireball926

    Fireball926 Well-Known Member

    Nov 21, 2010
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    none
    Somewhere
    do u think my hands r as prettyful as BB:B....:eek:
     
  16. eggzbacon

    eggzbacon Well-Known Member

    May 17, 2009
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    The Golden State
    All I have to say is, BEST. INTRO. EVER!!!!
     
  17. dizzydank

    dizzydank Well-Known Member

    Dec 23, 2010
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    Assitant Managing Editor - Games, AppTudes; TV/Mov
    portland, ME
    looking forward to this... i like how each BB has it's own personality and game style...

    would agree, this game sounds like it could benefit from a few on-rails stages (maybe bonus levels?).
     
  18. undeadcow

    undeadcow Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2010
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    Why won't Battle Bears just die... they still haunt my dreams.

    When does this come out again?!?
     
  19. Teh_Ninja

    Teh_Ninja Well-Known Member

    Mar 12, 2010
    1,891
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    Waiter at Chili's
    Dallas
    :D

    There ya go
     
  20. Lt. Action

    Lt. Action Well-Known Member

    You know, I've seen many hands whose textures are in dire need of some loving touching up but yours, sir, are at such a nice resolution, have such pleasing subtle lighting effects, I wouldn't change a thing <3

    The particle emissions are a bit odd, but variety is the spice of life, no?

    The very, very beginning.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGOTYA, pre-April Fool's- it's gonna be closer to the end :I

    And about the IAP, the most precise I can be is pretty vague, like, a non-specific grey zone where things are pretty fuzzy or undefined, but we're all feeling very nondescript about it :D

    On that same note, what kind of stuff would YOU like to see? I guess the only thing I can say with even a shred of certainty is that there will probably be MULTIPLE IAPs to choose from :D
     

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