I've got a batch of new Apps I'll be rolling out soon, and wanted to solicit some pre-release feedback for the first of 'em, starting with the AppStore description & screenshots, pasted below. The game is already submitted to Apple, and I expect it to be approved early next week. Current AppStore description: Default screenshot: Other screenshots: Link to upcomming games thread (with YouTube video)
Just my opinion, but the first thing I thought when I saw the screenshots was that the title "pops" too much. It the 3d effect looks a little out of place compared with the rest of the menu. Maybe try getting rid of the shadows? Otherwise it looks pretty good. My impression from your description and screenshots make me think that this game is very shallow and that all I will be doing is tapping the little animals while the timer counts down. More elaboration on the game modes in the description might help. Good luck with your launch!
Thanks Red, this is really helpful stuff. Did you get a chance to check out the video? It is indeed a simple game, but it's by no means easy. I'll do what I can to dress up the placeholder description!
Take two on AppStore description. Hopefully this will give potential buyers a better sense of what it's all about.
Hi, Hope you don't mind my 2 cents. Reading through your description, I think you have a lot of text for a simple game concept. You also delve a lot into "rules" so parts of it come across more like help text. In that big paragraph you make some good points about the gameplay, but it's buried in so much text it's hard to find it. I'm a big fan of 1-2 sentence bullet points with some white space so each one pulls the eye and makes it easy to scan. Finally, why is Vicky angry? I think that gives you a great opening to inject some attitude into the concept, as she rebels against all the overly cute creatures in the forest, while Vipers get a bad rap. Also if this is a universal build (as opposed to something that is emulated) I'd definitely mention that up front. Here's a take on it, in full market speak mode, trying to work the whole "eating" theme: Vicky is mad. Vicky is hungry. And it's dinner time! Take control of Vicky in her quest to quench her hunger and rid the forest of all its annoyingly cute inhabitants! - Play on your iPad or your iPhone - two versions, one low price! - Dine on a cornucopia of critters, like cute bunnies, juicy frogs, fluttering bats, and Vicky's favorite - tasty little mice. Ummm, yummy! - Master the timing behind Vicky's strikes and learn each creature's unique patterns to put together high-scoring no-miss combos! - Discover awesome power-ups and super-secret snake powers by munching on the elusive red and golden apples - Earn achievements and compare your best scores online with friends using the popular gaming social network, OpenFeint. Featuring beautiful animation, a catchy latin soundtrack, user music support, and an intuitive touch interface, players of all ages can enjoy this simple yet addictive game!
good point. I like your description better. Although, in the final sentence, addictive doesn't really draw me in. I've seen addictive been used in just about every app description I've seen.
Thanks a bunch, Venan. I've incorporated much of your feedback into the final AppStore description. Anyone that replied in this thread can feel free to hit me up via PM for a free promo code. Phil
