Depri-Horst Walk, crawl, jump and shoot your way through the best mailman-simulator ever made!The target of this game: Tou… $1.99 Buy Now Watch Media DetailsWalk, crawl, jump and shoot your way through the best mailman-simulator ever made!The target of this game: Touch different areas of your touchscreen-device to motivate Depri-Horst (a shining example of a mailman) to jump, throw letters or just to stop for a moment and think about his horrible existence.Many games have claimed to be the best mailman-simulator ever. But now, for the first time in history, this claim is really actually totally justified! Depri-Horst - The Miserable Mailman will bring tears of joy to your tiny little mailman-eyes while you desperately try to make out what is going on. Then you die and have to start from the last checkpoint.This game currently features a story mode with seven levels/worlds/whatever, a never-ending survival mode and a main menu. Also: Extremely complex gameplay with up to 3 possible actions! More levels/worlds/whatever are planned! The more people buy this game, the more content the developer will produce in the future.You can compete with other player via Game Center - but you don't have to, if you don't want to. But then you'll never ever find out who of your friends is better at guiding a dull mailman around unimaginative obstacle courses than you. Hint: It's probably everybody!Here's a heart-breaking-story: This game was entirely made by one person. Graphics, sounds, music, programming, everything! By buying this game, you will totally boost his self-confidence! Maybe even rate this game some stars (around 5 should do) and tell your friends about it?TL;DR: You want to own this game. Now. Information Seller: Genre:Action, Arcade Release:Jul 22, 2014 Updated:Nov 30, -0001 Version: Size:0.0 TouchArcade Rating:Unrated User Rating:Unrated Your Rating:unrated Compatibility:HD Universal Korgath Member Jan 19, 2013 7 0 0 #2 Korgath, Sep 13, 2014 Probably the best last line of description in the entire App store. That's obviously how every app should be marketed. CygnetSeven Well-Known Member Feb 6, 2010 7,585 30 48 #3 CygnetSeven, Sep 13, 2014 Ya know, I never read those things, but that whole description is a riot. I'll grab it just for that. Thanks for the smile Korgath and the post Lav. steffenw Member Jul 23, 2014 13 0 0 #4 steffenw, Sep 13, 2014 Last edited: Sep 13, 2014 Be sure to grab the game now as it is only free this weekend to celebrate it's non-success so far! (The game does not contain ads or IAPs) Maybe leave a rating so the store page doesn't look as embarrassing after this free weekend. Cagey75 Well-Known Member Sep 2, 2014 134 0 0 #5 Cagey75, Sep 13, 2014 I'm going to grab this, because the artwork looks pretty slick and that description Based Xatu Well-Known Member Aug 27, 2013 1,937 0 0 #6 Based Xatu, Sep 14, 2014 I like your description so much I'll wait until after the sale to buy it. Are you a writer by any chance? steffenw Member Jul 23, 2014 13 0 0 #7 steffenw, Sep 14, 2014 Thank you! I'm not a trained writer. I was just having fun when I wrote the description and my goal was to keep people who don't get my sense of humor from buying the game. I write stories for my comics and ridiculous articles for a german satire blog, when I'm not making games. nightc1 Well-Known Member Oct 19, 2012 4,362 0 0 AL #8 nightc1, Sep 14, 2014 iOS 7 only, otherwise I would have checked it out. Jaskov New Member Sep 14, 2014 1 0 0 #9 Jaskov, Sep 14, 2014 Thanks. The game sucks but it's always worth getting your account value up. AnarKitty Well-Known Member Oct 10, 2010 3,654 0 0 Minneapolis, USA #10 AnarKitty, Sep 15, 2014 This looks wonderful, and I love the whimsy and the entire premise. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck! Bandit TA Well-Known Member Jul 23, 2014 113 0 0 Auckland, New Zealand #11 Bandit TA, Sep 15, 2014 You made an account for that? SonixManix Well-Known Member Nov 21, 2013 568 0 0 #12 SonixManix, Sep 16, 2014 That is kind of rude, don't you think? steffenw Member Jul 23, 2014 13 0 0 #13 steffenw, Sep 16, 2014 Nah. He's the coolest kid on the block and has to talk that way or the others will make fun of him. The sucky game isn't free anymore by the way. It's now ultra super expensive again because the dev needs new windows for his mansion. Based Xatu Well-Known Member Aug 27, 2013 1,937 0 0 #14 Based Xatu, Sep 16, 2014 PM me when you become a professional writer. (You must log in or sign up to post here.) Show Ignored Content Share This Page Tweet Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forgot your password? Stay logged in
Probably the best last line of description in the entire App store. That's obviously how every app should be marketed.
Ya know, I never read those things, but that whole description is a riot. I'll grab it just for that. Thanks for the smile Korgath and the post Lav.
Be sure to grab the game now as it is only free this weekend to celebrate it's non-success so far! (The game does not contain ads or IAPs) Maybe leave a rating so the store page doesn't look as embarrassing after this free weekend.
I like your description so much I'll wait until after the sale to buy it. Are you a writer by any chance?
Thank you! I'm not a trained writer. I was just having fun when I wrote the description and my goal was to keep people who don't get my sense of humor from buying the game. I write stories for my comics and ridiculous articles for a german satire blog, when I'm not making games.
This looks wonderful, and I love the whimsy and the entire premise. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck!
Nah. He's the coolest kid on the block and has to talk that way or the others will make fun of him. The sucky game isn't free anymore by the way. It's now ultra super expensive again because the dev needs new windows for his mansion.