Tires over gravel. A hush falls over the living room. Nana's knitting needles lower slowly and her "Will He Ever Return?" crochet bunches neatly in her lap. The tears she has been holding back for nearly a year trace the worry wrought wrinkles of her ancient cheeks. A dish crashes to the floor in the kitchen, the casserole is ruined but no one minds, the third world didn't see that one. The dog is silent. The TV understands it is not relevant in this moment and shuts itself off. A car door slams. The door knob knobs gently to the right. The door finds itself insignificant and yields. A man steps through the threshold, bathed in divine radiance. A second wash of divine radiance cascades from his beard and a third still from what he holds in his hand. The bible on the table bulges as a new book is organically added. "He's back" it will say, followed by 400 blank pages for it cannot be described, but must be seen. Lt. Action has finally returned, and clutched in his gentle yet powerful hands is that which has been foretold- A TRAILER SHOWING OFF SOME OF THE NEW FEATURES AVAILABLE IN BATTLE BEARS GOLD, LAUNCHING EARLY THIS JUNE! BEHOLD! We've heard your cries: "I want to play Battle Bears, but better!" Cry no more, ya fat babies! BATTLE BEARS GOLD is launching as a whole new app that improves on the Battle Bears Formula you know and love! Before I roll out a list to end all lists, here's some pro-tips from the Lieutenant to you: *All of your progress in Battle Bears will transfer over to Battle Bears Gold when you log in with your existing account. *Users who have an account prior to the launch of BBG will be treated to the "Pro-Mode Jump Button" absolutely free of charge. Sounds like a deal only a chump wouldn't take advantage of, you're not a chump, are you? You don't LOOK like a chump. Here's a link for the non-chumps out there. Download BATTLE BEARS and set up an account before BBG launches! Now, here's that list you've heard so much about. What's new in BATTLE BEARS GOLD?! New Assault Class: The dreadnought, the metal menace, The B-1000! The B-100 Launches With: 9 available skins 2 Primary Weapons 2 Secondary Weapons 2 Melee Weapons 3 New Maps! -Gold Digger -Skate or Die -Sky View Pro Mode HUD Options -Jump Button -Radar Display Customized Button Layout Full Menu Redesign Private Arenas (Play with friends!) HD Graphics (Only available on devices that support HD. App automatically detects what graphic mode to show. You wouldn't believe how far an outline and some toon shading can go). Essentially, we've updated Battle Bears SO HARD that it became a second app. Man, I feel like I need a cig, you guys got some cigs? I'm gonna be walking bow-legged for a while after this post. BATTLE BEARS GOLD COMING SOON! SPREAD THE WORD! (Anything you think you should spread besides "the word" should probably just be kept to yourself)
Crap, I almost forgot. Do you guys like countdowns? Cause I've got one that's counting down real hard right over here.
Damn that robot bear looks awesome! Love it! Did you guys stop making single player games? As cool as this looks, I'm not into the multiplayer stuff but good luck with the release
We have taken Ms. Multiplayer by her tender hand and renewed our vows with her. Madam Single Player sits on the sideline, but if you watch our eyes, you'll notice we steal a glance toward her occasionally. I cannot be too specific, but I can say that the Bossman, Lord Ben of Vu, routinely reminds us that he wants us to strive to make the best multiplayer shooter games out there. That said, we still have yet to release Battle Bears Zero: Wil's Finest Hour which is somewhat a supped-up version of our first release, Battle Bears Zombies; a fixed position gallery shooter. BB0 does contain multiplayer facets, but the bulk of our work went in to single player and the cut-scenes fans agree aren't too shabby. Battle Bears Gold won't be everyone's cup o' tea, but it IS free, what do you have to lose?! Aside from 10-20 minutes of your life that you will never, ever, ever recover, that is. Manalive, that felt corporate. Apologies, Señor or Señorita Lawliet, I really, really wish I could tell you all about what crosses my desk and dances across the screens of my colleagues, but legal paperwork and all that. It may land me in some steamin' hot water BUT I will say that we are indeed working on some things that will satisfy the single-player inside of you <3
