Hi Today I have 10 promo codes for ELF to giveaway. I am very stressed today and need a laugh, so whoever can make me laugh the most will get a promo code. I have ten to give away. Try and keep the jokes festive (elf jokes even better) and please post on the forum so everyone can read Cheers Jeff http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=35109
O.K i'll give it a go,but these aren't that good One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!" How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?" Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
ways to get kicked out of walmart= - run around the aisles with a paintball gun - take the bottom can from a huge pyramid of canned foods - dash through the aisles pushing a cart humming the mission impossible soundtrack - start a food fight - set off all of the try me buttons on toys at the same time -buy a chocolate bar, eat it, go back to the same cashier, buy a chocolate bar, eat it, go back to the same cashier, buy a chocolate bar, eat it, go back to the same cashier, buy a chocolate bar, eat it, and so on hope i made you chuckle! hope i get a code!
OK...here's one. Sorry, i dont know how to embed. If thre's a Mod out there, please fix for me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVym2GCvs8U
How long should an Elf's legs be? Just long enough to reach the ground. What is a rich Elf called? Welfy. How many Elfs does it take to change a light bulb? 10. One elf to change the bulb and nine others to stand on.
Three Elves were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Elf said, "Those are deer tracks." The second Elf said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third Elf said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Elves were still arguing when the Dwarf train hit them.
1. How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath? Elfully smelly. 2. Who is the most famous singing elf? Elf Vis. 3. How do elves get up into the workshop attic? The Elflevator. 4. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? He had low Elf esteem 5. What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? “First, YULE LOGon”!
Some really awesome jokes I come across so here goes.... Edward Cullen doesn't bite people, he looks like he resides in the woods, and he sparkles. Let's face it ! He's not a real vampire. He's a fairy I keep getting a pop up from Adult Friend Finder saying "**** Sexy Girls in Your Area" What have they got against sexy girls in my area? Just saw the Facebook group "Have you ever just looked at someone,and you just hate them?"Yes, this is why most people call me racist Somebody asked me the other day about my feelings on constipation, I said I couldn't give a shit. Why do dwarfs always get stopped at customs? For trying to bring small arms into the country. 95% of men masturbate. The other 5% are either lying or don’t have hands Ever had a Fly or small bug land on your Computer Screen & been daft enough to try and scare it with the cursor? Talk about the damn inflation, In the old days, ‘An apple a day kept the Doctor away’…. now it’s 5 bloody fruit and veg. My wife told me I always speak like a computer geek. I LOL’D. My Mother-in-law converted me to religion. I never believed in Hell until I met her. I’ve found a great way to last longer in bed… …don’t set your alarm clock. Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd. I set fire to an orphanage today and aww…you should have seen their little faces light up. Possibly the funniest eBay feedback ever:”Bought item for cousin who had cancer, item never arrived and cousin died.” In my opinion if you say “Ifyouwantsexsaywhat” really fast, and a girl responds with “what?” that counts as getting consent
What's the first thing elves learn in school? The "elf"-abet! Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? Elfis! How do you describe a rich elf? --> Welfy What do Elves use to go from floor to floor? --> An Elfevator What is a female elf called? A shelf. What is big, green and packs a trunk? --> An Elfephant. If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be? -> The twelf
Joke #1: The Honeymoon is Over A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?" "Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon itself was wonderful -- so romantic! But......." Suddenly she burst out crying. "Mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed -- they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!" "Darling baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. I'm your mother -- tell me these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...words like: Wash, Iron, Dust, Cook..."
Joke #2 (love this one - it is a classic) Only a kiss a yard Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
Joke #3: A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news and some very bad news." The patient, resigned to his fate, says, "Well, might as well give me the bad news first." "The lab called with your test results," the doctor began. "Unfortuanately, you've got a rare condition and they said you have 24 hours to live." "24 Hours!?" exclaimed the patient. "Thats terrible! What could be worse than that? What's the very bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
Joke #4: An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and comeback and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs.Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."
