Originally Posted by arta
Prometheus talk. Spoilers and lots of cursing.
•••Spoiler: How did those two idiots get lost? They left before everyone else afraid of the decapitated monster, before the storm. They are the guys who are mapping the cave in the first place. Its his mapping devices that he can call upon anytime to help, he has the map scanner on him, he's in constant contact with the captain who is also watching the map being formed right in front of him? What makes this even worse is that near the end of the movie they reveal they are not in some cave or a building, in the near but in a circular ship. Really, how the �������� did they get lost in the first place?
Why did these same people who just ran away from dead aliens, then decide to treat a ��������ING HISSING ALIEN COBRA like a housecat? That dude actually wanted to pet and kiss it!
Why do these scientists go out of their way to endanger themselves? They insist upon not wearing helmets despite all the danger of contamination or physical attack from alien life forms?
Why the �������� did the Engineers depict their location for their secret military base on caves for primitive humanity?
Why the �������� did the Engineers provide holographic depictions showing how to operate the ship? The writers needed a way for David to decipher the language, and chose the dumbest way possible. Oh no, wait, that would be CAPTAIN PICARD'S ��������ING FLUTE.
Why does everyone act like a Lost character, where they repeatedly get into danger and don't tell everyone else what happened, just to keep the mystery going? Shaw punches out two crew members and confronts David, gets an emergency abortion and then everyone walks about like nothing happened. A zombiefied crew member returns to wreck shit and no one bats an eye, discusses it, takes precautions etc.
Speaking of which, why does everyone go out of their way to not carry security with them? First Shaw refuses, then someone else. By the 3rd or 4th time they have that zombie crew member come in to confidently kill the security team.
Half the crew members came on the ��������ing mission without knowing what they were going to do, why?
How they �������� is Shaw running around through an earthquake, leaping over crevices after a Ceaserian abortion?
Why did Vickers have to die like Bugs Bunny, running away from a falling structure for 2 minutes instead of running to the side?
All this doesn't compare to the script problems. Shit dialogue. TERRIBLE ��������ING CHARACTER WORK. Shaw is a scientist and religious, how do you know this? Because she said so and flashes a cross now and them. When does she demonstrate this except at the end? Howling geologist and nerdy glasses man bristle against each other for no reason. other than, hey shit this is the type of characters in a Micheal Bay film. Shaw doesn't speak to the crew, had ONE conversation with the captain ONCE, and all of a sudden she can convince them to do a suicide run against the alien ship? The only good character is David.
Plot twists are trotted out without thought or grace. We suddenly learn Dr. Shaw is barren, for no other reason because in a few minutes we have to set up the abortion scene. The captain suddenly confronts Shaw about the structure really being a military base, out of nowhere. Or how about Vickers revealing the most pointless twist in the movie:
"I have done all that you've asked... [dramatic pause]... FATHER" (dun dun dun)
SERIOUSLY? Who cares?
Did Weyland really plan this entire expedition to just walk up to the aliens and have them tell him the shit he wants?
The Space Jockey aliens are really giant albino men in elephant suits. Seriously That is only less disappointing by:
The origin of the classic Xenomorph Alien. THE MOST RANDOM SHIT EVER. Here's how one was created in this movie:
(a) Have one human infected by the all purpose black goo (happened only because of dumbass scientists have no contaminations protocols and one rebellious android)
( b ) make him have unprotected sex with a woman (lucky not to be ��������ing dead)
( c) have the tentacle spawn allow to grow to a monstrous size (I have no idea how that shit got that big without eating anything, and why NO ONE IN THE SHIP NOTICED IT.
(d) Have it overpower and impregnate an Engineer, who only happened to be in the area by happenstance. He wouldn't be there if they hadn't ��������ed up his ship.
(e) Have it burst open to reveal the Xenomorph
Even with the all purpose black goo (which makes zombie berserkers, alien cobras, etc when the script demands it), look at the ridiculous sequence of events that have to occur to make a Xenomorph. The crazy sequence of specie genetic combination plus all the crazy madness going on around them...wow. So how did they even get Xenomorphs before to paint murals on in their shitty base?
This is all off the top off my head. Bad dialogue, crappy characters, lame plot twists, gaping plot holes, the only thing enjoyable was the visuals, and a few select scenes (abortion, David in the holographic map room, the intro showing the primordial world with the huge ass waterfalls). All of which could be excused if the story was engaging and I cared about everyone, but they were all too stupid to do so.
|
06-18-2012, 06:46 PM
