Traffic War - Hits Itunes 1 December 2012
An Iphone Game fabricated from scares minerals stolen from the heart of Mount Olympus, graphically designed by Zeus and skillfully developed by the deft hands of the infamous 7 Samurai in the Land of the Rising Sun. This revolutionary Iphone Arcade game is indisputably the most heroic form of entertainment since the Micheal Jackson decided walking on Earth wasn’t enough.
Searching for a delightfully friendly game to play after a cup of tea or before reading about sparkling vampires or 50 shades of grey? Do us all a favour, throw your Iphone on the ground, give yourself an uppercut in the jaw and take a good, long look in the mirror. Frankly, I’m utterly offended.
If, on the other hand, you’re hunting for the most diabolical precious fun game to be synthesised during the Big Bang, please continue…
To date, the most epic day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That’s about to change! In fact, you’d trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to play this game.
Traffic War was cast as R2D2 in Star Wars, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role.
I played the Traffic War at my last job interview and my employer handed me his résumé.
When the cops pulled me over a few weeks ago because I was playing the game whilst driving, they were lucky to leave with a warning.
9 out of 10 Doctors recommend Traffic War
Graphics forged from the horns of unicorns.
Sound track used for sound engineering the Transformer movies.
Built-in chick/dude magnet (it knows what you want).
Integrated time machine (takes you back..way back)
Powered by nuclear core reactor (makes fuel redundant)
No power steering (so you better start warming up your fingers and iron to shred your biceps)
$.99c or a blood diamond
Available from 1 December 2012 from the Itunes App Store.
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