I just got the strangest email from a customer of Wooden Labyrinth 3D. I'm usually very courteous with my replies to everyone, but this demand is so strange that I'd really want to reply with something imaginative. In his message, the customer tells me that he had bought the game seven months ago and liked it a lot. However, his iPod Touch was stolen and he has decided against buying a new one. Now, since he cannot use the game anymore, he would like a "full refund of my purchase". I'm at a loss here. How does one reply to message like that??? Suggestions appreciated. Strangest one might actually be sent!!
Funny thing is: aslong as he uses the same iTunes account, he can still download the game for free... He's trying to get free money in a sense. Reply to him that if you're using the same account, d'l it again for free. O... nvm... I thought you wrote 'Decided to go FOR buying a new one,' not against... Woops!
Lol, tell him that your bank account was stolen and you're living off scraps you find in the streets. Tell him it would be greatly appreciated if he could make a new iTunes account and buy your game again so you can have enough food to feed your bum cat named Mittens.
first of all, epic game, secondly *ahem*: Dear (insert name here), please dont try to mooch off of me because of your loss. When I was your age i had already killed 7 men, so grow up before you become the 28th. Go knock some sense into that kid, or your parents and just buy another one, because, trust me, i made MANY prank calls when i was younger and im assuming this is one of them. your truly, go get a life im just assuming your an adult, sorry by the way i did something similar to that when i was younger, i traded something with my friend but then it got stolen so i demanded my friend give back the old item, he gave me it
I would probably just write something like the following (sorry it's not funny!): Dear Mr. SoAndSo, We are sorry for your loss, however, we are unable to process a refund for you. Refunds are handled exclusively by Apple through the iTunes App Store. Please contact them and tell them your story in order to obtain your refund. Thank you, Your Name Here
Wow... that is an odd request. Wait; if he doesn't want to buy a new Ipod, then what will he do with the itunes credit that he would receive if you refunded him??? Oh well... here I go. If you don't want to refund him, here is a suggestion; Dear "loyal" customer, I am very sorry to hear that your Ipod Touch was stolen. Unfortunately, I am unable to refund you for the purchase. On a happy note, I'm glad that you were able to enjoy Wooden Labyrinth 3D for such a long time. Best wishes, and happy holidays, (Fill in the blank) I hope this helps!!!
I would just consider this to be another scam. You don't handle the refunds- Apple does. I've received emails from people claiming to be a reviewer of so-and-so site, and they requested a Promo Code. Yet they couldn't actually prove they were the reviewer- the emails didn't match. After several requests to send me an email from the one listed on the site, they finally give up.
If he uses the same account for the new one, he can get it again for free. Hilarious little incident i suppose, and how do we know it was stolen?
Dear Whatever You Are (Actually say that too, much more fun), I apologize that you have lost your iPod Touch and are not considering buying another one. I wish I could refund your purchase, but I have no money left. I have just lost it all when my house was robbed, as I don't trust banks. I must end this e-mail here as I am going to Capcom to ask for a refund on Resident Evil 5 which I purchased seven months ago. Wishing you the best of luck in getting that refund, The guy who's not giving you the refund That is it right there. Send that. See how hilariously mad he gets.
Dear invaluable Customer, I do see in the account history that you have purchased my game seven months ago. As I scroll through, I also see that you have purchased over one hundred and seventy-six apps that include the words 'sexy,' 'gay,' 'babes,' in them in the past week. I would consider checking that out. Anyways, onwards with the matter at hand. There is in fact a way for me to a refund, but you have to do the following things: 1) Send an email to [email protected] this is the email address they use for theses issues. Tell them about what has happened and when they reply, proceed to step two. 2) Once they reply, they should give you a phone number to call. Call it and ask for Soap McTavish (weird name, eh?). He is the man I normally talk to in these incidents and he is very kind and should see to it that you get a refund. 3) Since you have a new iPod, I'm going to need the account information in order for me to give the refund (Apple asks the developer if they want to confirm or deny). Don't send the password, just the actual account. 4) After this is done, I'll send you an email and what you have to do is buy Wooden Labyrinth again, only this time it will tell you after you hit 'buy' that you have already purchased the app. Click O.K. I know what it's like to lose your iPod. In fact, I lost mine yesterday. It's a funny story really. What happened was I live in New York, so I went to the grocery store and parked my old Station Wagon (my iPhone inside it) outside. When I came back, I found a hobo taking a dump on the hubcap of my front tire! I told him to leave (with some added explicits) and he began to chase me around the parking lot yelling "Get out of my Bathroom!" I ran for about a block and finally reached the police station, where the police tazed the hobo four times before he finally pulled up his pants, and then twice more so he would stop chasing me. I walked back to the store's parking lot and saw that all my tires had been stolen, all my windows were broken and my station wagon had been set on fire. I walked inside the grocery store to ask what had happened, and the cashier handed me a note that said: "Go F*ck Yourself" I suggest you go do the same. Love, [Insert Your Name Here]
Or... Dear Invaluable Customer, Life is full of surprises. Tomorrow, I'm going to kill you. Surprise!
