Support our Sponsors:

Go Back   Touch Arcade > Developer Discussion > Public Game Developers Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 05-27-2013, 09:58 PM
MidianGTX MidianGTX is offline
Senior Member
iPad (3rd Gen), iOS 7.x
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 3,772
Default

Did you pay him? If so, I feel kinda bad pointing out the flaws I see. By most people's standards it'd be completely fine, but if you want to be strict and have perfect English there are a couple of corrections I would make.

"Frantically fling daggers for hours" is a split infinitive. I mean... it's acceptable, kinda like Star Trek's famous "boldly go" line, but if you want to be strict and have proper English it would be something like "Get ready to fling daggers frantically for hours".

You also need a comma after "heated".

And "...too overwhelming. She's your only hope." makes a little more sense as "...too overwhelming; she's your only hope".

It's nothing too bad though, even companies like EA don't bother scrutinising that much.
Reply With Quote

Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2012, TouchArcade.com, LLC.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2008 - 2011, TouchArcade.com. Privacy Policy / DMCA Copyright Agent