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iPhone: Ow My Balls! (Pulled from App Store)

04-23-2009, 10:29 AM
#1
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 1,502
Ow My Balls! (Pulled from App Store)

Step aside Hotdog Down a Hallway, there's a new ridiculous app afoot.

OW MY BALLS!

Ow My Balls! is a comedy game that brings top shelf kicked-in-the-crotch humor to the iPhone and iPod Touch. Ow My Balls! incorporates gravity simulation, hilarious sound effects and directional acceleration tactics for the utmost in non-realism.

You'll laugh so hard milk will come out of your nose!

Kick Joe the Juggler from a ledge above the city and then use his trajectory to hit animated obstacles. Ignite fart jetpacks to gain altitude and travel the distance. Hit as many obstacles as you can before impact for insane combos!

Hit more obstacles, get more points, earn more farts, and become a BALL MASTER.

-- FEATURES --

- The absolute best in kicked-in-the-groin comedy
- Illustrative hand-drawn city and animations in a unique gritty style
- Accelerometer and flick support
- A lush and hilarious soundscape

-- DIRECTIONS --

- Flick the screen to kick Joe the Juggler. The longer the flick, the harder the kick!
- Propel yourself the distance by tapping the screen on descent. Time your taps for the ultimate distance.
- Tilt the phone to tweak your fall to hit the most objects before impact
- As your score goes up, you earn more farts...
- With more farts you can get further and gather INSANE COMBOS!
- Discover the MAGICAL obstacle and you know you've hit the end!

-- FOR EVEN MORE LAUGHS --

Check out our website/blog at: http://owmyballsthegame.com. It's full of awesome ballhit videos!

Ow My Balls!
http://appshopper.com/games/ow-my-balls


Someone please buy this.

what.

Last edited by FilthyCanadian; 04-23-2009 at 10:35 AM.
04-23-2009, 10:32 AM
#2
Joined: Feb 1983
Location: Barcelona
Posts: 1,268,691
Downloading.

04-23-2009, 10:33 AM
#3
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,799
Thanks Filthy. I was waiting for someone to post about this. I didn't want to be responsible for raising (or is it lowering) the bar again, so soon.

 /l、
(゚、 。 7
 l、 ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ
04-23-2009, 11:04 AM
#4
Joined: Feb 1983
Location: Barcelona
Posts: 1,268,691



Ow My Balls! in a word, is complete iPhone perfection. Similar to how Casablanca and Citizen Cane are taught in film schools around the planet as the greatest movies of all time, Ow My Balls! will no doubt quickly become the text book example of a excellence in iPhone gaming and will serve as a benchmark for all new iPhone developers to aspire to when searching for App Store greatness.

Similar to JRR Tolkein's Lord of the Rings trilogy redefining the fantasy genre as we know it today, Jetson Creative's Ow My Balls! has forever changed the groin-kicking ball-busting fart propelled action gaming scene. The game's protagonist, Joe the Juggler stands atop the roof of a building minding his own business and as his name would suggest, juggling his balls. By quickly swiping your finger across the screen, a mysterious foot from the yet to be revealed villain of the Ow My Balls! universe sends poor Joe flying.

During his descent to the ground, you earn points by participating in Joe the Juggler's complete testicular destruction. Joe bounces off birds, satellite dishes, charcoal grills, and finally lands on a myriad of obstacles ranging from saw horses to fire hydrants. Joe's flight can be briefly extended by tapping the screen which enables Joe's fart booster. With each fart Joe the Juggler gains a small amount of altitude which can be vital in spring boarding from satellite dish to flag pole to bird for maximum points.

Ow My Balls! also features an RPG-like experience system where you earn more fart capacity by playing the game and racking his balls to rack up points. In the five minutes I've played it I've already mastered the power of two additional farts which has helped greatly to increase my score.

While Ow My Balls! has no online leaderboard system, the amazing art and sound design will have both art snobs and audiophiles alike amazed with the overall production. Joe is drawn with such absolute clarity that the game almost feels life-like. The sound effects, whether it's a juicy fart or Joe crying "My BALLS!" are masterfully recorded and feature a warmth and tonality which is often lost in highly compressed iPhone audio tracks. These things combined create an immersive gaming experience which is rivaled by few other titles on the App Store today.

But don't take my word for it, instead, watch the video- http://files.me.com/ehodapp/xm0wfh.mov

My only regret is not having a camera capable of picking up all the subtle nuances in the farts, and while I believe the h.264 codec is the best video codec available today... Ow My Balls! is a game which truly must be experienced to be fully appreciated.

(Oh god please no one take this seriously.)

Last edited by Eli; 04-23-2009 at 11:13 AM.
04-23-2009, 11:11 AM
#5
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hodapp View Post
Similar to how Casablanca is taught in film schools around the planet as the greatest movie of all time
You are thinking of Citizen Kane.

 /l、
(゚、 。 7
 l、 ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ
04-23-2009, 11:14 AM
#6
Joined: Feb 1983
Location: Barcelona
Posts: 1,268,691
Quote:
Originally Posted by starjimstar View Post
You are thinking of Citizen Kane.
Fair enough, edited.
04-23-2009, 11:28 AM
#7
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle, WA USA
Posts: 4,761
04-23-2009, 11:29 AM
#8
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,680
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haha, i like the joke thread, at first I thought it was serious, but when i got to the end I was laughing.

Seriously though, i think this game will be limited to school boys who still giggle at farts and other immature things.
04-23-2009, 11:43 AM
#9
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 430
Quote:
Originally Posted by starjimstar View Post
You are thinking of Citizen Kane.
I'm sure you meant The Godfather Part II.

Content Writer for www.vgchartz.com
04-23-2009, 11:52 AM
#10
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,799
Quote:
Originally Posted by jFND View Post
I'm sure you meant The Godfather Part II.
The Godfather and the Godfather II are often ranked very high in the polls as well, but nothing is as consistent as Citizen Kane.

Sight & Sound

 /l、
(゚、 。 7
 l、 ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ