★ TouchArcade needs your help. Click here to support us on Patreon.
  • Publisher: Kevin Mangan
  • Genre: Word
  • Device: iPhone
  • Size: 43.6 MB
  • Version: 1.05
  • Price: Free
  • Average User Rating: 5 (2)
App description: Gran Text Auto is a texting and driving game, starring Gran!

Half driving half texting half octogenarian adventure!

Like many teens in sunny Los Emoji, California, Gran loves surfing, parties, chill vibes, and most of all TEXTING!
But Gran is 88 going on 20 doing 60 in a 30!
It's dangerous, but Gran don't care! Gran loves danger! It's like breakfast to her. She eats danger like other emoji people eat emoji egg-in-a-frying-pan!
Whether cruising the city or by da' beach, Gran never puts down her EmojiPhone! Not even to save her life!

Gran has lived a life! Not a day wasted. Unlock achievements in Game Center to read more about her.

*** Much Car Crash ***
Emoji Automotive makes 10 types of cars. Each 2015 model vehicle brings unique tragedy to Gran's inevitable accidents!
Drive 'em all! Crash 5 of the same type to take it for a spin!

*** Crash Snap ***
Gran's favorite EmojiPhone app: Crash Snap! Share pics of disaster and mayhem on social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or probably whatever else the kids use these days

*** So Upgrade ***
You can remove the ad but you don't have to. Gran doesn't pay for, like, any apps. She says she doesn't even notice the ads anymore, so why bother. It's cool if you do though!
It also unlocks Golden Gran mode, but so does sending of texts! Will you earn it? Iron price or gold price?

Talk to all Gran's family and friends even the imaginary friends and some thirsty creeps and some animals even memes!

DO try this at home this game not texting and driving. Seriously, don't end up like Gran it always ends badly.

"it's free. download or FOMO" Gran

Jibber Jabber:
No emoji were harmed in the making of this game.
All emoji are fictitious. Any similarities to any persons is purely coincidental, but kind of funny; you should post a pic of them.
Anything else this reminds you of is probably intended parody and seriously hopefully everyone is cool with the jokes.
Seriously, this is obviously punny parody. Let's all be cool about it.

Boardumb's comments:

07-02-2015, 01:12 AM
Joined: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 81
This item is no longer available. Bummer.

07-02-2015, 01:23 AM
Originally Posted by FrehleyzComet View Post
This item is no longer available. Bummer.
It's there, believe me. This error/bug is hitting the App Store (more in the US than others) since several weeks (months?) ago. Just insist.
07-02-2015, 02:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 10
It is available now!

VirtualBoyFreak is correct, there's a bug with apps appearing before they're actually available.
It's available now that it's after midnight Pacific time. Not sure if that's because it's my timezone, or Apple's timezone.
07-02-2015, 06:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 347
Yes! Thanks for letting us know. I just downloaded it. Glad I checked back to this thread.
07-02-2015, 10:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 10
Awesome! Let me know what you think! ��
07-02-2015, 10:19 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12
I am terrible at this!

This game is so hard! But lol the dialog is so good! I feel like I recognize gran's voice, but I can't place it. Are the original Golden Girls still around? hahah
07-02-2015, 12:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 262
I think this is going to be a cult classic. It's very addictive and fun, love the music and presentation and I think there's room for it to improve and grow, too. I'd like to be able to nudge cars from the side instead of dying at the slightest touch, but even then, the crashes are hilarious.

Last edited by fiskadoro; 07-02-2015 at 12:49 PM.
07-02-2015, 12:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: 'Murrica
Posts: 720
This is good fun. It makes me realize how much I rely on auto correct! I have to slow myself down in order to do well. I've gotten up to 63 after several runs. All the achievements for cars crashing afterwards is good fun.

Remember kids, don't text and drive!
07-02-2015, 03:27 PM
Thanks again to kobake (Kevin Mangan) for the early access code!

Gran Text Auto (lovely name =D) totally reminds me of when I *used* to text and drive. Unless you can type without looking, you'll know what I mean when you try it. I love the interface design for the menus.

GTA is a really nice distraction (pun intended). I haven't tried the Golden Gran yet, so I'm not sure what changes that brings to the game, but the main game is really fun. You reply to messages by typing on your normal keyboard while tilting your phone to avoid oncoming traffic. Give it a try!