★ TouchArcade needs your help. Click here to support us on Patreon.

Letter from the frontlines of the Microsoft conspiracy war

04-01-2017, 01:04 AM
#1
👮 Spam Police 🚓 [Original Poster]
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,279
Letter from the frontlines of the Microsoft conspiracy war

(I hope this section works better for this. Happy April Fools!)

PREVIOUS THREAD:

http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=284989



Dearest Madamousielle,

I have been on the front for far too long. I miss your eyes, bluer than the oceans of Neptune that I've flown over. I miss your hair, reams of scarlet of a brilliant hue that makes even the mighty Mars look pale. I miss your tone, purer than the universe at it's birth. But most of all I miss your demeanor. Your patience that makes the oldest of mountains seem naught but impetuous. Your humor and wit sharper than the blade of the most legendary of scimitars. Your support and understanding making the most perceptive of philosophers seem blind.

The war against Eli AKA BILL GATES' conspiracy to destroy the App Store gaming section wears us all thin. Just yesterday we lost Fredricks. Not to any enemy fire. Not to any sickness. Not to any storm. No.

We were passing a playground, on the run from elite MICROSOFT commandos. He took a seat on the swings and held on tight to his gun. As he rocked back and forth he could only repeat one statement over and over.

"I'm so cold. I'm so very cold."

Cygnet had to pull me and Metalcasket away from trying to snap him out of it. The commandos were almost upon us. As we ran Fredricks disappeared from view in a wall of falling snow. We heard a gunsot. His or theirs, we won't ever know. We had to keep running.

TouchArcade is falling more and more to the conspiracy. Microsoft continues to plant the seeds of doubt to in Apple's support for gaming via "articles" from Eli AKA BILL GATES and his new propoganda ministers. It isn't looking to stop anytime soon.

Is it worth it continuing the war? Are gamers worth it to try and enlighten to the wonders of the future? Can Microsoft be beaten by the end of the year? Will we ever ride again?

You remember that don't you? On the road, sailing the highways and toll roads. The only thing beneath us, the asphalt under our motorcycle's wheels. You at the helm, me navigating through the wonder that is America. When will we do this again? Where will we go? Where will we go?

Sincerely my Empress,
Saansilt the Steadfast

Last edited by saansilt; 04-06-2017 at 12:33 PM.
04-01-2017, 08:55 AM
#2
I'm intrigued. Who is this mysterious Empress?

You have a genuine knack for writing saansilt. Any chance for a part 2?
04-01-2017, 02:38 PM
#3
👮 Spam Police 🚓 [Original Poster]
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,279
Quote:
Originally Posted by RHess00 View Post
I'm intrigued. Who is this mysterious Empress?

You have a genuine knack for writing saansilt. Any chance for a part 2?
Thanks for the feedback. This is actually part two, i've linked the first part at the top of the post. As for part 3? Depends on if Eli AKA BILL GATES can catch us.
04-01-2017, 02:55 PM
#4
Don't know how I missed that link. I just skipped over it and started reading.
04-01-2017, 04:56 PM
#5
👮 Spam Police 🚓 [Original Poster]
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,279
I forgot to URL it. My fault.