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App description: A short message from our breathtaking redhead:

"Hey!
So Hank finally gave me some time to myself and went to that fancy golf club for the weekend. Dorks like him go there to golf. Instead of playing 18 holes, they just drink profuse amounts of beer to get drunk and end up making 18 holes in peoples windshields with their golf balls. Typical.
Then, I called the twins and got their voice mail. Again! They probably left their cell phone in the car. Or the car they left their cell phone in got stolen. Or maybe they were abducted, blindfolded and taken to Las Vegas to work as showgirls. Ill probably find out what the twins were up to in the morning paper.
My point is that my man and my girls arent available so that leaves you as my last resort. Oh, Im so kidding! How do you feel about tennis? Ive been waiting to try out my new tennis dress! I heard skanky is the new classy. But, Im tired of just hitting balls back and forth so Im making the game a little more interesting. So get ready for a twist! Ill see you out on the court!

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Joovia Extreme Sports is a fast paced action-sports game that involves a cute redhead that you need to protect from a variety of flying objects. Apparently she thinks tennis is only fun if its dangerous. You can move the umbrella back and forth over Joovias head to protect her from the different items that are flying out of the sky.*

In case you thought you could control Joovia, youre wrong. Nobody can control a sassy girl like her! So use the umbrella the best you can to guard her pretty little head!

In this game youll find endless amounts of fun:

-30 challenging and exciting levels
-Easy, Normal, and Pro game modes
-More than 10 different projectiles with different characteristics
-A wicked cool soundtrack to play tennis to
-Moments with Joovia (tm)
-Openfeint community built-in so you can brag about your high-scores!
-Introducing The Seagull, Joovia's arch enemy
-Hours of fun protecting her from her unique game of tennis

Some people call this fun. We certainly do. You will, too.
BUY the game NOW!

*3 tennis ball machines are hidden in the distance; that's where the things come from. (This is the best explanation our copy writer could come up with.)
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If you're lucky enough to be a girl, you can skip this warning!

Warning >>>

If you dont have a good sense of humor or you are too educated to find protecting a girl with an umbrella fun or if you just got dumped by a redhead and are too wounded to look at our sexy Joovia, please dont buy this game.

On second thought, if you just got dumped, maybe you can let a piano fall on her head. Vengeance is sweet, isnt it?
<<< end of humorous warning

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The game is not ON SALE because it is a bargain already... so act fastand BUY it NOW!

happymondays's comments:
Joovia Extreme Sports is Out Now! Only $0.99!

A short message from our breathtaking redhead:

"Hey!
So Hank finally gave me some time to myself and went to that fancy golf club for the weekend. Dorks like him go there to golf. Instead of playing 18 holes, they just drink profuse amounts of beer to get drunk and end up making 18 holes in peoples windshields with their golf balls. Typical.*
Then, I called the twins and got their voice mail. Again! They probably left their cell phone in the car. Or the car they left their cell phone in got stolen. Or maybe they were abducted, blindfolded and taken to Las Vegas to work as showgirls. Ill probably find out what the twins were up to in the morning paper.
My point is that my man and my girls arent available so that leaves you as my last resort. Oh, Im so kidding! How do you feel about tennis? Ive been waiting to try out my new tennis dress! I heard skanky is the new classy. But, Im tired of just hitting balls back and forth so Im making the game a little more interesting. So get ready for a twist! Ill see you out on the court!
12-01-2009, 02:02 PM
#2
Joined: May 2009
Location: Padded Cell With A Strait-Jacket On And A Bib.
Posts: 764


12-01-2009, 02:05 PM
#3
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 84
thanks
12-01-2009, 02:29 PM
#4
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 84
We have another thread started with Promo Codes here http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=35140
12-01-2009, 02:39 PM
#5
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Saratoga, CA, USA
Posts: 11,781
Always a great sign when only 1 of the 5 pictures shows actual gameplay.

Tim "Lord Gek" Jordan, Game Consultant
Twitter: LordGek
GameCenter, iTunes: Lord Gek
My iTunes Reviews
12-01-2009, 02:42 PM
#6
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 84
Well, try it out before jumping to conclusions. Let's be fair.
12-01-2009, 02:50 PM
#7
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 3,741
App description sounds like the signup page for an "adult" website

  /l、
゙(゚、 。 7 ノ
 l、゙ ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ
12-01-2009, 09:42 PM
#8
Joined: May 2009
Location: Bookland
Posts: 3,366
Looks like an Albie game