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The worst game ever is coming!!!

01-21-2010, 12:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
The worst game ever is coming!!!


Read only on your sole responsibility!

Lublin, Poland – 21 January 2010 – Games developer and publisher iFun4all is quick to expand his portfolio of game series in most bizarre way one could think of. They’ve created game so bad that the best title producers could think of was Crap of Defense. To achieve such horrible quality company CEOs limited the budget to equivalent of 500 Russian Roubles and tried to combine remote work of “cost effective” workers worldwide.

“With this title instead of being bad at making good game we tried to be good at making bad game” said Laszlo Kovács, Hungary–based project manager and lead programmer (cheapest one iFun4all were able to find _worldwide_).

“Our idea was to make tower–of–defense type of game and reverse the concept” says Fülöp Mészáros, one of most world–renown Hungarian designers (out of two). “In normal ToD game you place the towers and they shoot automatically. In our game you have your tower already placed and you shoot it yourself. It has to be fun!” continues Fülöp, who was fired from the company as soon as beta tests proved correctness of his assumptions (or rather lack of it).

The unique, artistic old-fashion graphic “paper” style of the game is an effect of long-term search of the proper artist. iFun4all found it in the person of young genius painter from exotic East. “Work on this game was extremely hard. We don’t have computers in our village so I had to paint everything on paper and hence the style” mentions Zhào Wáng, young freelance artist from China.

Characteristic music style of the game immediately reminds us of old USSR military anthems. “It’s because the last music our composer Boris Czernienko heard before he gone deaf 20 years ago was Soviet National Anthem” says Laszlo. “We tried to tell him that it would be better if he would move on and compose something different, but he won’t listen”, Laszlo complains. “Well, maybe that’s because he technically can’t hear” arguments Fülöp, who was re-hired because no other designer wanted to continue his work. “Boris is the cheapest person in the team. He actually paid us so we would use his music. Without him we couldn’t afford to finish the production” talks back Laszlo.

Lead programmer told also something about difficulties connected with making games for iPhone. “The biggest obstacle with Apple development is 100 USD fee for their site. This is pure robbery!” Laszlo complains. “With iPhone devices it is much easier. You can buy them very cheaply from local thieves, especially in summer when there are a lot of rich American tourists in Hungary” he adds.

Fülöp adds that they had another problem during the development process – “We’ve heard that to be successful at Apple store you have to have good engine. So we’ve found really good one from old black Volga at a local car-scrap. But to be honest we didn’t see this any use in our game. Maybe it works better for driving games?” – he wonders.

“We believe we are opening new chapter in gaming history”, comments Laszlo just a moments before submitting game to the App Store on a rented computer.

Crap of Defense will start the apocalypse on the App Store next week.

01-21-2010, 01:01 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: 37° 19′ 54.55″ N, 122° 1′ 52.25″ W
Posts: 1,116
Seems interesting...Good artstyle!

01-21-2010, 01:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Saratoga, CA, USA
Posts: 12,002
You're going to have some TOUGH competition here as there are many aspiring devs out there that can make a far WORSE game than you with only a fraction of the effort!

Tim "Lord Gek" Jordan, Game Consultant
Twitter: LordGek
GameCenter, iTunes: Lord Gek
My iTunes Reviews
01-21-2010, 01:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
Thank you Tocarina

LordGek - trying doesn't mean making
We really did the worst game!
01-21-2010, 01:18 PM
Joined: May 2009
Location: The Underworld
Posts: 9,230
i love the paper art...and it looks crappily fun! :P

looking forward to seeing it...you don't happen to have any video do you?

Originally Posted by sizzlakalonji View Post
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just played this, felt a tingle, rushed to the bathroom, and urinated rainbows and glitter.
Originally Posted by sammysin View Post
Yesss, I'm off for a leak to see if the same happens for me.
01-21-2010, 01:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
It's coming (Monday) and should be better then our press release
01-21-2010, 01:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: 31.560499, -111.904128
Posts: 7,471
It looks crap

(in a good way)

Hakuna Matata
01-21-2010, 01:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,242
It doesn't look bad...Change the soldier graphics to dogs, change the explosion to cotton candy, and the cannon to a book that shoots freezing mushrooms, then you will have successfully created the worst game ever.

Licensed and Certified Legacy User

Last edited by SunriseMoon; 01-21-2010 at 02:00 PM.
01-21-2010, 02:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: 37° 19′ 54.55″ N, 122° 1′ 52.25″ W
Posts: 1,116
What's the price? I'm interested. I wonder how successfull this gam will be...Maybe like Enviro-Bear
01-21-2010, 02:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 7
Fun idea Looks kinda cool though...