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iPhone: COD lite - worst game

03-31-2010, 05:26 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
COD lite - worst game


Mission failed – all reviews enthusiastic

Lublin, Poland – 23 February 2010 – Games developer and publisher iFun4all is so ruthless that they want to spread the crap and introduced Lite version of Crap of Defense to App Store. It also acknowledges that it has failed so far in accomplishing their goal of becoming hailed as the worst game ever. To counteract they are planning series of updates – with first one to debut in about a week!

Get it lite now!

“We are convinced that the game will finally get deserved ratings if we will get the game to normal people like us, who don’t pay for games” says Laszlo Kovács, Hungarian game producer. “We will put the Lite version only for a certain period of time though to not lower the average quality on App Store too much” he adds.

Reviewers know crap about bad games!

iFun4all had set themselves a goal to become worst game ever. The team is very disappointed with good critical reception of the game. “Actually, I’ve never heard so many insults and disrespectful opinions about someone’s work” complains Fülöp Mészáros, second best Hungarians designers (out of two). They decided to go on the crusade with reviewers and answer them! Let’s the battle begin:

148apps.com: “it is a top notch time waster with a style of its own” – Response by Fülöp: “Hmm, actually, I like this >>time waster<< thing, sounds menacing”.

Portablegamer.com:„it is most definitely NOT one of the worst games you will ever play. In fact, it’s completely the opposite.” – Response by Zhào Wáng, young freelance from China: “My camel writes better reviews than you are!”

RejectedGamer.com: “one of the most unusual, and fun titles that I have ever played.” – Response by Fülöp: “You truly must have had a sad and empty life!”

7bitArcade.com: “you will fall in love with the game” – Response by Fülöp: “I’d sooner fall in love with Zhào’s camel than with this crappy game!”.

148apps.com: “it is really quite fun” – Response by Boris: “Who’s funny now?!” – Boris takes out his gun and points in random directions – “I ask you – who’s funny now!?!”

Another problem was the presence of the game. Zhào Wáng is surprised to hear opinions like “And when I say endearing, I mean it. Grade school drawings mixed with misspelled words that have become more cute than idiotic in the last year or so, give this game its edge” (Portablegamer.com) or “With a style that can only be described as coming from a war obsessed 2nd grader, Crap of Defense is quite an amusing experience“ (148apps.com).

Zhào doesn’t understand these complains. “What did they expect? I’m 7 years old and spend whole year of my commuting on camel to work so I didn’t had time to improve my skills!” cries Zhào, cuddling up against his camel.

On a “positive” negative note

There was one review from gamesradar.com that awarded us honorably “the WORST of the month”. Team was so happy that they drunk for the whole week and longer. (Actually, they still are continuing to do so even right now).

Their only concern was accuracy of the review as apparently reviewer hasn’t played it. “Well, nobody’s perfect, but we are happy that even without playing the game true reviewer can rate the game” says Laszlo.

Make crap or die tryin’

“We want to correct all the mistakes we’ve made in the past and will do our worst at fulfilling audience expectations” declares Laszlo. Team plans to achieve that by massive amounts of the updates. “We already finished first update – Winter Assault – with lots of new features and new campaign with which we will try to set new standards for the word >>Crap<<” he declares.

Melissa Eggley from theportablegamer.com had the courage to bid defiance to iFunall by saying: “The worst game, really? Not in a million years.”. Laszlo response is definitive: “Wait for the updates and we will see how short the million years can be!”

Crap of Defense Lite is now available on the App Store. Update to original version has been just submitted and is expected to debut next week.
03-31-2010, 05:38 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vienna, Austria
Posts: 4,751
Best app description ever. Love it. Maybe I must try the game. Don't post an iTunes link!

Hurry up! Handpicked & Time-Limited App Store FREEbies & Sales
(Blog German-language; but you'll find all links, pics, and videos.)

03-31-2010, 05:56 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
03-31-2010, 09:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Houston/Austin, TX
Posts: 13,250
this game doesn't deserve to be abbreviated as such.

Twitter: @back2this
03-31-2010, 09:52 AM
Sounds as if someone is trying to parlay a crude, yet promising satiric ability into the repackaging of an unfit app for indiscriminate consumption.

Good luck. I had few good laughs.

Last edited by Grubjelly; 03-31-2010 at 09:54 AM.
03-31-2010, 02:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: 31.560499, -111.904128
Posts: 7,471
Sorry everyone likes your game.

I thought it was crap

Hakuna Matata
04-01-2010, 10:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26
It's a shame... Our new updates can fix it
04-07-2010, 09:27 AM
Our new update is on the app store now.
We created even worse game because of adding winter campaign.

Btw. If you like our hate our game - please be so kind and vote for our game:


04-07-2010, 12:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 26

HERE is our trailer if you didn't watch it yet.
04-09-2010, 10:46 AM
Next fail... HERE