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Battle Bears: Blast (That's B3 to you, meester)

03-02-2011, 05:50 PM
#1
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 730
Battle Bears: Blast (That's B3 to you, meester)

Show me your hands.

Oh my, those are nice. Your hands should have their own magazine. Salons should google image search YOUR HANDS for reference. I think thereís a book somewhere that was written some 2,000 years ago about those fine looking hands and, if Iím not mistaken, Alexandros of Antioch omitted the arms from his Venus de Milo because he KNEW he could not compete with those hands.

Oh my lord, those hands...

Itís a shame, isnít it, that both of your fine hands need to be obscured by your i-device when you play your shooter games? I mean, how is everyone going to know that the hands firing off those immaculate shots are so pristine, so elegant? These are the hard questions that we look away from and pretend arenít a serious life issue and these are the same questions I am about to answer with a singular statement:

BATTLE BEARS BLAST


You read me.

SkyVu Pictures has taken it upon itself once again to rescue your life from the inconvenient burden of your hands being stuck doing stupid things including, but not limited to, playing iOS shooters with both hands. BATTLE BEARS BLAST is a fast paced, ridiculous one handed shooter that pits Oliver once again against a literally endless onslaught of Huggable Bears (among other wacked out creature/s) but THIS TIME the pressure is applied liberally and just. wonít. quit.


One hand!? Shut yo' mouth!
Jus' talkin' bout convenience.
Oh, I can dig it.


To put it simply, this game is going to kick you in the face and never take its foot away. If Battle Bears -1ís movement/exploring 3rd person style wasnít your thing and you need something more immediate/accessible than Battle Bears ZOMBIES, Battle Bears Blast is right up your alley whether you want it there or not. Or, if youíve made it your lifeís mission to be awesome and have been a Battle Bear fan from the start, youíre already in a great position to have a rip-roaring good time.

Someone once said that "the best things in life are free" and that someone was likely a silver-spoonin' trust fund baby. Coincidentally, though, BBB IS the best thing in life and it IS free! :D

Free with ads, that is, until you reach deep down and summon the change to purchase an extremely sexy, reasonably priced IAP, any IAP, to deck Oliver out in sweet duds AND remove ads.

IAP, you ask? Tell you more, you demand? Well, you're in luck because that's exactly what I'm being paid to do.

On the main menu-


This

You WILL notice that one of your options includes "Backpack". Yes indeed, after long last, that mysterious back back finally does something! Crack that puppy open and get a hot facial of sweet duds, gun upgrades, armor, skins, crazy levels and more. Your OLIVER can finally take a full step out of brown-tinted obscurity and be customized to look just the way you like so you can blast away the pesky Huggables in poppin' phresh phooty phstyle.

You will be taking your bad-self through at least two modes: Classic and Arcade.

In classic mode you will enjoy relaxing evening after relaxing evening of BLASTing away endless waves of Huggables, Marecraft and more, reaping sweet power ups in the form of multicolored "Nuggs" and driving up that multiplier until you finally succumb to the inhumanly fast pace ie. taking three hits because your brain and hand have a domestic dispute and stop talking to one another over the inhumanly fast paced game that is BBB.

Arcade mode, on the other hand, cuts your little ADD addled self lose into the game world for a 60 second burst of "kill as much as you can than come back inside for cookies, sweetums" HORROR. You won't lose for taking hits, but you'll wish you had when you see that abysmally low score (a direct result of those same hits wiping away your multiplier). No, your score won't be earning a space on the fridge if you just lie there, if that's what you were thinking.

Oh, also, in both modes Wil has taken it upon himself to bundle up all cozy like with volatile explosives so, you know, shooting him can have consequences.


This bundle of baseless joy is "Nuggs"




We'll be adding a ton of armor, skins, and themes and look forward to taking requests from our fans!

Let me say that last part again, but this time I'm going to enlarge it for the attention impaired of our readers: and look forward to taking requests from our fans!

Ya hear that? We want-nay-NEED our fans, old and new alike, to voice their opinions on what kind of sweet tidbits they want to hang off of their bodies or frolic amongst because communication is important and, to avoid awkward moments and silent breakfasts the next day, we need to know how to please you exactly the way you need to be pleased. <3

Unofficially because I made it up just now, this is our company's motto.

tl;dr: You look nice today, we have a very new, casual style shooter coming out, it's free with ads until one(any) teensy weensy IAP, it's gonna be customizable like a mother trucker, it has multiple play modes and game center support, it's slated to come out in April, tell your friends and we love you

Oh, also, we've updated the Oliver model and texture since BB-1. Looks nice, huh? :D
03-02-2011, 05:51 PM
#2
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,913
n ice

03-02-2011, 05:54 PM
#3
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,185
Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgzomgomg!!!!

Game Center: B34$T
Proud beta-tester for a bunch of cool games.
Dual-stick shooter fan
03-02-2011, 05:58 PM
#4
Joined: May 2010
Location: New York City
Posts: 2,741
So I'm assuming this game is on-rails? Well, I can't argue with the price of $0. :P

Follow me (@zeroxharuhi) on Twitter!
03-02-2011, 06:01 PM
#5
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haruhi View Post
So I'm assuming this game is on-rails?
Gewd question.

We started the design with an 'on rails' style popping up in either a different mode or in certain levels but, as it is now, it's more of a stationary shooting gallery (not unlike Fruit Ninja, per example) where the targets are hurled across your field of vision and INTO that same field of vision ie. your face.

If we can finangle it and if it's something people would have fun with, I'm up for some rails, sure :D
03-02-2011, 06:04 PM
#6
Joined: May 2010
Location: New York City
Posts: 2,741
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lt. Action View Post
Gewd question.

We started the design with an 'on rails' style popping up in either a different mode or in certain levels but, as it is now, it's more of a stationary shooting gallery (not unlike Fruit Ninja, per example) where the targets are hurled across your field of vision and INTO that same field of vision ie. your face.

If we can finangle it and if it's something people would have fun with, I'm up for some rails, sure
I see. So the gameplay is more like BB Zombies then? I'd love to see at least one on-rail stage in the game.

Follow me (@zeroxharuhi) on Twitter!
03-02-2011, 06:04 PM
#7
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 10,505
Quote:
Show me your hands.

Oh my, those are nice.
Look lieutenant, its NOT fine to talk about my hands here on the forums. I showed them to you in private and there was no need to make it public
03-02-2011, 06:09 PM
#8
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 730
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImNoSuperMan View Post
Look lieutenant, its NOT fine to talk about my hands here on the forums. I showed them to you in private and there was no need to make it public
I think openness and honesty are the corner stones to good public relations and, dammit, your hands are some of the finest I'VE EVER SEEN, even if it was a bit dark.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, having fantastic hands.

It's time; time to show the world <3

Also, I must add that the only improvement you could ever make to your hands would be wrapping one of them firmly around some Battle Bears: Blast. You're free to do with the other hand whatever you wish ;D

Last edited by Lt. Action; 03-02-2011 at 06:11 PM.
03-02-2011, 06:23 PM
#9
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 10,968
Ooh, can it be in 3B, I mean 3D?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NickFalk View Post
Squids!?

Worst idea ever!
03-02-2011, 06:25 PM
#10
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 730
Quote:
Originally Posted by drelbs View Post
Ooh, can it be in 3B, I mean 3D?
YOU WON'T BELIEVE the DIMENSIONS you can play this game in. I can assure you that you will be playing B3 on a very real, very 3D touch device.

Dimensions 1-2 are old hat, for the first time ever, prepare to exist across no less than THREE AXIS as you play B3 on your touch device!