App description: Tired of the same old runners?
Who isnt?!
Running and jumping endlessly just to earn some gold coins.
Why waste your time with that when you can waste your time... epically!

Introducing Mr Jabbs: Epic Waste Of Time
An endless runner with a unique twist- You Can Warp!

Thats right Jabbaroos! You can WARP!
One minute you're running and jumping, and the next you're:
- Shooting Space Hamsters with peanut butter sandwiches!
- Petting unicorns and blowing up potatoes!
- Battling spaniels with holographic dragons and laser swords!
- Passing gas in a hat!
- And so much more! WOW!

Where you go, nobody knows?! Warp for fun. Warp for strategy. Warp because the word warp sounds funny. Its your choice and its all random!

FEATURES:
> iOS 7 Support!
> Fast paced, twitch-inducing, gameplay that will challenge your reflexes!
> Addictive levels, designed to make you come back for more, even after youve thrown your device against the wall!
> Hilarious characters and worlds, rich with color and humor.
> Take a break from gameplay in a fully interactive menu environment. Pet Beldor, read a magazine about dapper squirrels, play with a fish in a sink, roast Marshmallows, and so much more! All designed to waste your time epically!
> Personalize your game experience with customizable controls and settings.
> Secret games and unlock-able content await your exploration.
> Fun! Fun! Fun! A great way to pass the time in quick sized bites. Play it on the train, the bus, the line at the movie theater, on the toilet, or even at your grandparents 90th birthday party. Happy Birthday to them by the way ;)

*iPhone 4 and above, iPod Touch 5th generation and above, iPad 2 and above, is recommended for optimal performance.*
02-24-2013, 01:13 PM
#2
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Posts: 5,249
Created this thread to ask if I should TOFTT. Or, maybe someone else does. This game has a high chance of being absolute crap, but a small bit of potential to be a cult hit.

02-24-2013, 02:38 PM
#3
Sucks its not optimized for iPhone 5. They even tell you this in their description. What's the argument for not making this widescreen?
02-24-2013, 03:21 PM
#4
Quote:
Originally Posted by bramblett05 View Post
It says not optimized for touch 5 or iPhone 5 on the please note part
Yeah I know. I mentioned in my post that they acknowledge it isn't optimized. Which is my point. What's the reason for not making new apps optimized for the newest hardware?

Funny how the app page says it IS optimized when it clearly isn't per the devs note in the description.

Last edited by Snooptalian; 02-24-2013 at 03:24 PM.
02-24-2013, 04:04 PM
#5
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Posts: 5,249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snooptalian View Post
Yeah I know. I mentioned in my post that they acknowledge it isn't optimized. Which is my point. What's the reason for not making new apps optimized for the newest hardware?

Funny how the app page says it IS optimized when it clearly isn't per the devs note in the description.
Judging by the tiny screengrabs (I hate screenshots-within-screenshots in app description), it looks pretty low budget. I don't know how optimizing for widescreen works, but maybe the tools and assets he used makes it too difficult/expensive (probably a very low budget game) to resize them.

I can't tell if this is going to be hilariously ridiculous (like Time Ducks), or a game filled with 13 year-old stupidity.
02-24-2013, 04:13 PM
#6
13 year old stupidity and all the better for it. Very, very low budget. I'd say no-budget but it is actually very funny. I don't even mind the black bars.

Quick add: and cheers for posting, Greyskull - very nice find in it's own little way.
02-25-2013, 10:40 PM
#7
Hi

Hahaha! Low budget and crap you say? Well this is awkward- i'm the guy who made the game haha. Anyways yeah I'm sorry about the lack of full screen support in the iphone 5. I'm working on addressing that and even making it a universal build in the coming updates. I left a note in the description that says its not fullscreen on iphone 5 (the rest wasn't my doing- about saying it's "optimized")
The game was created a long time before iphone 5- so i've had to play catch up on trying to rebuild the "artwork" (if you can even call it that. to fit the wider screen.
Anyways, I'm not here to defend the game. Hopefully you'll give it a shot though. I think its a pretty funny, unique, and challenging game. That said, I did make it, so of course i'm going to think its great. If you play it and hate it, i say crap all over it! You've got my blessing Hell, I'd love to even take a quote from you and slap it on the description... "Worst piece of *&#*&$ ever"- touch arcade
Check out the trailer. See what you think. It may surprise you!... oooor make you crap on it harder.
See the trailer at www.mrjabbs.com

The "low budget" look was intentional. I wanted the game to look and feel like a 5 year old made it. But I don't think the game is clunky. I actually think it actually holds up quite a bit. But I should stop talking, I'm getting pretty close to breaking my rule of "not defending my game." The game is just supposed to make you laugh and give you a good time.

Anyways, good or bad reviews, I welcome them. Thanks for even having the discussion. Pretty cool to me!
Cheers!

Last edited by mrjabbs; 02-26-2013 at 12:06 AM.
02-26-2013, 12:11 AM
#8
Thanks Slamraman... I think.
I named the game Epic Waste Of Time for a reason. I wanted it to kind of have a cheap feel to it. Not sure if you noticed but you can fully explore the Main Menu and do absolutely stupid things. You can roast marshmallows with intentionally crappy coding, you can pet the cat creature, play a piano, etc. You spend your whole time trying to earn a high score, and for what? If you go to the toilet you'll be able to trade in your points for the world's crappiest rewards. I don't want to give them away, but I think you'll find them amusing.
That's the thing, the game is supposed to be tongue in cheek, but hopefully deliver a pretty frenetic, enjoyable, experience. Turn off HELP POP UPS in the settings for the full, really hard gameplay, experience.
And DEFINITELY download the update, version 1.1. Adds a ton of new stuff and balances out the difficulty/scoring.
Thanks!

Last edited by mrjabbs; 02-26-2013 at 12:18 AM.
02-27-2013, 10:38 AM
#9
It is actually very very funny in quite a knowing way. If Little Inferno is The Simpsons this is pretty much South Park.
Travelling with work at the minute so not too much time but very very funny stuff. And funny's a hard thing to get right. Good one.
03-02-2013, 08:08 PM
#10
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Posts: 5,249
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrjabbs View Post
Thanks Slamraman... I think.
I named the game Epic Waste Of Time for a reason. I wanted it to kind of have a cheap feel to it. Not sure if you noticed but you can fully explore the Main Menu and do absolutely stupid things. You can roast marshmallows with intentionally crappy coding, you can pet the cat creature, play a piano, etc. You spend your whole time trying to earn a high score, and for what? If you go to the toilet you'll be able to trade in your points for the world's crappiest rewards. I don't want to give them away, but I think you'll find them amusing.
That's the thing, the game is supposed to be tongue in cheek, but hopefully deliver a pretty frenetic, enjoyable, experience. Turn off HELP POP UPS in the settings for the full, really hard gameplay, experience.
And DEFINITELY download the update, version 1.1. Adds a ton of new stuff and balances out the difficulty/scoring.
Thanks!
I have to ask...did you take any inspiration from Time Ducks? You have to check out the official trailers...