A thought about TouchArcade's environment

Allow me to, once again, clarify:

The point of the quote, as far as I know was this: Speak kindly, and folks will listen, and learn from what one has to say.

Does any of that have to do with "let's all just get along?"

No. You could verbally destroy someone in a kindly and gentle manner.

Well then, what's the difference? Why speak kindly if your goal is still the same?

Because people are more likely to listen if you do speak kindly, and thus are more likely to take your criticisms to heart, and thus improve as people.

THAT's what the quote meant, as far as I know.

This is NOT the same as everyone joining hands and singing Kumbaya, to resurrect that stereotype. It is, in fact, saying that:

"You want your voice to be heard, your opinions discussed, your thoughts given merit, your ideas considered, your concepts understood? Then speak in a kind manner."

In the case of the quote itself, this is what it is getting at, as far as I know. However, in the case of the TANGENT I got on earlier in this thread... that's another matter entirely.

And, no, not even the tangent involves Kumbaya. Kumbaya implies that there is no work to be done to achieve peace, which is false. The effort is gargantuan.

But just because the goal is so far out of our reach doesn't mean it's impossible to grab. Humanity's been doing the "impossible" for a long time now. Sure, it was extremely hard, but we've done it.

Just some thoughts, both for those stuck in the tangent and those still on the original topic of the thread.

Thoughts?

 

I wonder if that was the result of folks who took the time to a.) outline the topics of contention, and b.) present reasonable critiques based on those topics, and, again, c.) in a kindly manner. Just because there were crass people who hurled insults does not mean that those folks were the ones that made the difference.

After all, there were an equal number of folks who complained and moaned about TWEWY: Solo Remix. And yet, the only criticism from all that belly-aching that stuck was the near-impossibility of gaining the experience points that only occur using the multiplayer functions, which had some seriously crazy restrictions that cooler-headed folks pointed out in a calm, collected and kindly manner. When that happened, Squeenix patched the game, not because of the belly-aching, but because of the critiques that cooler-headed folks brought up.

You know, that word "kindly" keeps getting repeated. Let's take a closer look at that word, so we don't have to invoke that meme from The Princess Bride. From a dictionary:

"kindly - showing or motivated by sympathy and understanding and generosity"

So, a "kindly" tongue, going back to the quote, is speech that is a.) sympathetic, b.) understanding, and c.) generous. If these elements exist, then not only will folks be more likely to listen, but may understand better and will benefit from the conversation.

My intuition also tells me that such speech has to be genuine in order to have this effect. After all, folks can easily tell when people are being hypocritical, even in text-based communication. So a half-arsed effort would be ineffective.

It's also interesting that one's motivations can also be kindly as implied by the definition, I.e. you could be hurling insults at someone, but your motivation could be kindly. That is a fine line to walk, though, and should probably be carefully tread. After all, folks are fairly easy to offend at times, so explaining yourself may be necessary if one's motivations are not clear, for whatever reasons may exist.

That's what I think about that matter. I must say, this is quite the discussion! I certainly hope it got people to think about these concepts, and I look forward to other people's thoughts and/or reactions!

So, once again: Thoughts?

 

I'm not sure about that; it could be socially acceptable to tar and feather a baby, sling said baby over your shoulder, and rocket into the stratosphere without a space suit while still holding said baby. Sure, that was an extremely silly example, but it highlights that socially acceptable behavior may be any of the following: a.) nonsensical, b.) negative, or c.) useless. Sure, every environment is different, but we kinda need to ask ourselves: what is acceptable behavior, and is that behavior really what we want to do? This is something that has no universal answer, but we can come up with our own answers and share them with others if we think our answers are that interesting.

After all, the quote didn't say "a NICE tongue." It said "a KINDLY tongue." Something that is kind doesn't have to be nice. Another thing to think about.

Thoughts?

 

I know that, in regards to my own experience, whenever something of mine broke down or failed to work as advertised, I do legitimately get upset, because I could no longer use the thing I bought/downloaded/earned/etc. in the way I originally wanted to use it. That state of being upset usually doesn't last long, but I do know that whenever I have had to call any form of customer service or IT, I am often still a little upset over the situation that led to that phone call.

However, the relief at solving the issue, whatever it may have been, greatly outweighs the upset that the issue may have generated. And in those cases where customer service or IT may have been necessary, their ability to restore me to peace of mind by solving the problem is significant. The point I am getting at is that customer service generates happiness and peace of mind as a by-product of their function of solving technical issues the customer cannot solve themselves, and I think that is something critical to how they function on a day-to-day business. We go to them upset, and they do everything in their power to turn that upset around into satisfaction.

Good customer service is sympathetic, understanding, and generous. Thus, by definition (as defined earlier in the thread), good customer service is kindly.

Consider, then, the quote at the beginning of the thread, with the context of the connection of "good customer service => kindly".

Consider some of the other concepts that were explored through this thread in the same light.

No wonder customer service and public relations are so critical. The more kindly they are, the more effective they become, and the more likely it is that people will listen to what that company has to say.

Right now, a lot of gamers do feel quite powerless; the vocal minority is blaring loud and clear that the industry is not going where they want it to go, but all the racial slurs, the threats of death, the inappropriate memes, the pornographic photoshopping, and even the campaigns and political agendas have only served to make things worse. In short, the public perception of gamers is not a "kindly" one, and it feels like nothing can be done about it.

But think back to that quote from the beginning of the thread. With that in mind, perhaps the reason gamers are so powerless is because they are not communicating in a "kindly" manner?

Let's break that statement down into concrete steps that are connected to the real world, because an abstract concept without a concrete manifestation is useless, and may as well not exist.

Let's go back to that definition of "kindly", more specifically that being "kindly" means being a.) sympathetic, b.) understanding, and c.) generous. Let's take a look at these three parts, so we can better understand the whole.

A.) Sympathetic.

Dictionary definition:

sympathy - a relation of affinity or harmony between people

So being "sympathetic" is being open to people who may either share a common bond with you, or who may be working towards the same goal you may be working on, and identifying with them. This implies that, in order to be sympathetic, you must be willing to listen to folks to find the common threads between your life and theirs, and that you would be willing to associate with them on a level beyond that of a mere acquaintance.

Notice that sympathy does not require loyalty. Xbox 360 owners had the Red Ring of Death, and PS3 owners had the PSN hack/outage. Both groups of fans can find common ground in these events without disavowing loyalty to their favorite console or platform, and this can express sympathy for the other.

I guess one way to see it is camaraderie. I guess, at the end if the day, we are all gamers, right? No matter what platform we game on, we play games, period. We can be sympathetic in that light regardless of one's opinion on free-to-play or IAPs or whatever; we all play games. And we are also human.

B.) Understanding.

Dictionary Definition:

understanding - the capacity for rational thought or inference or discrimination

Notice: the definition says "the CAPACITY for etc...", NOT the expression of etc.... In short, every human being CAN think rationally, come to logical conclusions and judge between possible actions, with full knowledge of the consequences of each choice.

To better illustrate this example, the seed has the capacity to become a tree two or three stories tall, maybe taller depending on the kind of tree in question.

The question needs to be asked, then: if a seed CAN grow that tall, then why don't we let it grow? If a seed is in an environment where it cannot grow, then its capacity cannot be expressed.

The current environment of games out there is surprisingly sickening, where even sites dedicated to gaming-exclusive news or uber-dedicated indie developers are being harassed, threatened or otherwise hurt. Some games are downright unplayable for the vast majority of gamers because of the player base behind them. In such an environment, is it no small wonder that gamers look like raving lunatics?

The thing is, it is the environment that causes the ignorance, because it dampens and depresses every human person's capacity for understanding, which results in the expression of ignorance in the absence of understanding. And yes, even the "raving lunatics" have this capacity for understanding; they just aren't showing it.

So, what can be done?

Most people forget that the environment does not exist behind glass doors. This includes the Internet, this includes TouchArcade, this includes anywhere and everywhere one may go. If you interact with someone, that's you affecting the environment around you. If you make a forum post, that affects the environment around you. If TouchArcade releases a review, TouchArcade has affected their environment.

So as much as the environment may affect us, we affect the environment to the same magnitude.

So we are perfectly capable of turning an environment of ignorance and fanaticism into an environment of rational, inferring and discerning exploration through our own actions.

C.) Generous.

generous - willing to give and share unstintingly

In short, we cannot hold back. If we have something to say, then out with it! Do we have a concern? Speak it! Do we have a thought no one else has brought up or explored? By God, bring it up ASAP AND STAT!!! This is not the Christian Church where spending a day a week in a building listening to the Bible is all you have to do to be counted among "the Saved." Action is needed, conversations must be started! Gogogogogogogogogogogo!!!!!!!!!!

As is often stated in the Baha'i Faith: "There is no time to lose. There is no room left for vacillation."

vacillation - indecision in speech or action (for those who may be curious)

All the trolls and ignorant whiny jerks in the world cannot stop any other person from speaking their mind, so do not stop speaking. Do not stop the conversation. Persist in discovering the truth. Do not hesitate in the slightest.

So, now let us consider what it REALLY means to be "kindly".

You need to be open to other people's experiences, and must acknowledge the common threads between people's lives. You have to be logical and rational in your communication, so as to encourage others to do likewise. And, just as important, you have to engage without hesitation. Contribute anything you can, as much as possible.

....

Whew! That was a big 'un!

Thoughts?

 

Is that true, though?

Perhaps I should have split the posts. Notice, the connection that "good customer service => kindly service" was made independent of the further exploration of the meaning of "kindly", or at least that was my intent.

Smiles and good manners =/= "kindly". "Kindly" = being "sympathetic", "understanding", and "generous". It was the meanings of "sympathetic", "understanding" and "generous" that were explored in the above post.

Your concern is countered when you consider the "understanding" part of the meaning of "kindly". By rational communication and reasonable logic, we will be able to tell what games from which company may be worth it or not. Thus, we will not be suckered into something we can objectively see is terrible, and if we encounter something devious or malicious about a game or particular company, then we have every right to tell people about those elements.

But that requires having played the game, because logically, you cannot truly judge a game without playing it. You could make an educated guess, but there would be no way to prove that guess without some evidence. Then again, putting some effort into researching reviews or let's plays could give you the evidence you need, if you can discern fact from opinion. IF you can. Sometimes, you can't, so you would have to go elsewhere. Or just play the game yourself.

"Speaking with our wallets" is a concrete, real-world tool that "understanding" people can use to communicate their rational, logical findings. But it has to be balanced with the other parts of "kindliness".

For example, being unsympathetic means believing that you're alone, that no one has experienced what you are going through and refusing to open up to people as a result. This can create an environment of arrogance, which leads to entitlement, which leads to ostracization. In short, having no sympathy is what creates many trolls and the stereotype of the "spoiled gamer," because the only person such people think about is themselves. They don't care about any game if it isn't what THEY want; they don't care about what they say because THEIR opinion is SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHER OPINIONS. Which is objectively false. And, this can overturn "speaking with our wallets" by creating an environment where everyone buys only the specific things THEY want, which may NOT be what the industry NEEDS.

Another example: not being generous means not spending any time on games, not talking about games, not playing any games, not engaging in any way, shape or form. The silence this creates is far more damning than any mis-spent money. Conversations HAVE to happen in order for concepts to get out there to the general public. Ideas HAVE to be discussed and critically analyzed in order for the best ideas to get implemented, and those top-of-the-line ideas HAVE to get implemented to effect a significant, meaningful change. Not being generous enough to participate in these activities on SOME level is short-sighted and, quite frankly, kinda stupid. This can also overturn "Speaking with our wallets" because if we DON'T open out wallets in ANY way, we don't speak at all.

In short, you do come up with a good point, but that doesn't take into account a more full picture of the reality of gaming. And, just because a company is often perceived as something separate from the employees that make it up, doesn't mean that the employees are somehow immune from the environment they are in. We can affect the employees, and via the employees, the company. And each employee has a single, rational mind.

Change the building blocks, change the structure.

Any thoughts?

 

About 45 minutes on my phone. What can I say? I want to discuss this stuff!